Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
NOT!!!
Ok, now that I got your attention I should say up front that I loved the last SPN episode so if you hated it stop reading now cause I enjoyed it much and I’m very cranky when people disagree with me, lol 😀
The episode starts with an apparently abandoned hotel. The first dude we meet in the hotel shouts “Dead man walking” all over the place and sure enough a bellboy appears and kills him before the splash screen and apparently the dude is the… dinner o__O
Sam and Dean drive in a storm and arrive at the (now fully illuminated) Elysian Fields Hotel. The place looks far from abandoned and quite at the luxurious side of the road. A man checks them in and points that Dean has a shaving nick which seems very weird since Dean hadn’t noticed before. He then directs them to the all-you-can-eat 24 hour buffet with the best pie in the tri-state. As a good spn fan knows pie in SPN=trouble. As Dean is eating, Sam, insists they should hit the road despite the storm but Dean insists he’s not giving up and they go to their room. On the way they bump into a couple kissing in the hallway and Dean wears a really silly smile on his face 😛
The brothers’ room turns out really polished and even includes porn, chocolate and funky beds. Sam wonders why there’s a four-star hotel in the middle of nowhere. They hear the couple in the room next door and the wall shakes with a heavy impact. They go tocheck if everything’s okay but the couple seems to have disappeared. Dean finds a wedding ring but nothing else. They talk to the clerk, who informs them that the Logans have checked out andputs the ring in the lost and found. The Winchesters of course, don’t buy it and split up to investigate. Sam follows the clerk, who disappears in a dead-end hallway but as he looks around, Sam feels a pinch on his neck and discovers a cut very similar to the one Dean had when they checked in. In the meantime, Dean is searching the hallways (with my long lost beloved EMF meter ♥♥ I missed you buddy!!) when he walks past an elephant and of course sees nothing but a man when he doublechecks.
A very attractive woman (who Dean tried to hit on earlier) and a man are talking when the clerk comes in and informs them that everyone is there and that he’s stolen the brothers’ blood. (AHA!) Tada! Turns out to be Mercury ( I was really disappointed they chose the Roman name instead of the Greek Hermes… 😥 )
Dean tells Sam what he saw and they discover that they’re locked up in the Hotel California and everyone else has gone. They go to the kitchen and Dean checks the soup in which despite his wishes are not tomatoes but human eyeballs. Sam checks out the walk-in freezer and several people start pounding on the window. OK I expected this because of the tone the music had but it still scared the crap out of me 😛 Two men appear and force the brothers to the main ballroom. The main guests are there, wearing hello stickers (LMAO) with their names on and it (duh) turns out they’re all Gods. Some of them: Ganesh, Kali, Odin, Baldur, Baron Samedi and several others who didn’t mention their name.(this reminded me so much of my beloved SG-1 and the Goa’uld♥) Mercury arrives and serves the really gross severed head of the security guard. Baldur then announces that their guests of honor, the Winchesters, have arrived.
Everyone sits and Baldur reminds everyone that rampant slaughtering of each other isn’t allowed as they’re supposed to put their disagreements aside and look to the future. There’s a really funny sequence where the Gods argue about whose apocalypse is better (apart from the Christian one the Norse is my fave, sorry rest of religions 😛 ) and Dean and Sam try to slip away but Kali, stops them and says that the angels will only understand violence. When Mercury suggests talking she makes him bleed until Baldur stops her. My favourite villain of all times (bar the YED) Gabriel aka Loki aka The Trickster suddenly arrives but the Gods don’t seem to know he’s an archangel. Gabriel admits that they can’t stop the Apocalypse and then teleports Sam and Dean to their room so the grown ups can talk in private. The brothers are extremely freaked out and uber boned and figure they should free the prisoners. Just then Gabriel teleports in and explains that he’s there to save them because he and Kali have history. Sam suggests that they might have the gods fight Lucifer but Gabriel warns that they don’t stand a chance. When Dean suggests Gabriel sneak them out, he explains that they’re leashed to the hotel by a blood spell.
Gabriel appears in Kali’s room and flirts with her, those two obviously have history and Gabriel wasn’t lying. Dean and Sam try to sneak out through the ballroom, but can only watch as the gods kill one of the human guests. Gabriel suggests that they should run and there’s no way that they can fight. Kali insists that she has to, and they kiss. Sam tries to pick the lock of the freezer but Zao Jun attacks him.However, Dean sneaks up on him and manages to stab him in the chest. Gabriel tries to get the brothers’ vials of blood, but Kali scratches him with her fingernails and says that he’s hers (Gabriel is mine! :P).
Dean and Sam are brought back to the ballroom with Gabriel and Kali explains that she knew who Gabriel is all along, and that he has something she wants. She takes his archangel blade and tells everyone who he is. Gabriel explains that he’s a runaway but Kali insists that there are billions of other gods that were there first and if someone is going to frak up the world it has to be her. She then stabs Gabriel in the chest with his archangel blade and he apparently dies. With no other options left, Dean gets up and tells the Gods that he’s going to help them kill Lucifer by summoning the Prince of Darkness but they have to let the human guests go. The gods agree but as Dean helps them out he sees Gabriel hiding in the Impala. Ha, did you really believe he was gone that easilyq Cause I didn’t =) Gabriel explains that it was a fake sword but he needs Dean to get the blood and free them all. Dean suggests Gabriel should help them because they are all out of other options. Gabriel declares he’s going to leave, but Dean says it takes one to know one, and he knows Gabriel still cares about them. Gabriel admits he can’t kill his brother, but Dean asks if he can’t or won’t. When Gabriel doesn’t answer, Dean figures he’s right and leaves.
Sam tells Kali to remove the sigils from his ribs so Lucifer can find him. But before she can do it Dean arrives and tells them that Gabriel tricked them and that the sword would have no effect on Luci. Summoned or not by rinbs or a phonecall, Lucifer arrives at the front desk and Mercury is expecting him. Being who he is he has betrayed everyone and summoned Lucifer out of fear of what the other gods would do. Lucifer is unimpressed, comments on how the pagan gods are so petty, and snaps Mercury’s without a second thought. So much for being fast Merc.
In the ballroom, the lights flicker and Lucifer easily smashes his way through the other gods and starts killing them off one by one. Whne it is Kali’s turn she bursts into flames to defend herself. Lucifer however smashes her and is about to kill her when Gabriel appears with Sam and Dean, gives them a porn DVD and tells them to guard it with their lives (ROFLMFAO). He then smashes Lucifer back and helps Kali up, wielding the archangel’s blade. He tells Sam and Dean to get her out, while Lucifer notes that he’s slumming. Gabriel accuses him of playing the victim even though God loved him more than any other angel until God created his new baby, humans. Now it’s time to grow up.
Outside, Dean and Sam drive away with Kali as the storm grows. Inside, Gabriel says that he doesn’t care about Michael either, and that his loyalty is to people in the meantime a second Gabriel is sneaking up on Luci. Lucifer though turns and kills the real Gabriel with his blade, ignoring the illusion Gabriel. He finishes off his brother (for good this time) and looks down on his corpse, crying.
Apparently the day after, Dean and Sam stop off to watch Gabriel’s porn movie on their laptop. Gabriel is the actor in the movie, and then turns to tell Sam and Dean what the hell is going on. The pre-recorded message explains that he’s dead and they’ve got no chance of killing Lucifer. However, he explains that the cage that they sprung Lucifer from can still hold him, if they can get the cage open and trick Lucifer back into it while avoiding the angels. Most importantly, the four keys to the cage are out there: the four Rings of the Horsemen. If they can get all four rings, they can contain him. The brothers finally have some luck on their side as they already have two rings, and they just need the rings of Pestilence and Death. Hooray!
In a small shop, a store clerk is preparing to swat a fly when a man in a green car walks into the hotel. He coughs, sneezes repeatedly, and covers everything in snot and flies. I kept the entire time inverting my eyes and shouting insults to the telly while this dude was on. I read elsewhere, cause I couldn’t stand watching it that he bought some flu medicine and sneezes on the clerk. EW EW EW EW! USE A HAND YOU ASS! As he leaves in his rusty car, there’s a swarm of flies in the car around him. His license plate reads SIKN TRD (sick and tired). Hello Pestilence, it was not a pleasure meeting you. YUCK. You made my hypohondriac cells take over my entire body D:
——————–
When I love a show, I love it for a reason and I usually stand up for it even if I believe the episode sub-par. As I said, I’m no critic, I’m just a fangirl/enthusiast/geek who wants to discuss her favourite shows. I feel obliged to write these things because I read some reviews on Hammer of the Gods and seems that several people found it outrageous and too much. Well I didn’t. I love SPN to pieces and I even stuck to it through the emoville phase. Maybe it’s the fact that I like the brothers’ chemistry that much. Maybe it’s the fantastic music of the show and maybe, just maybe, it has to do with my addiction to the paranormal and supernatural culture/stories/legends since I was very young that makes me adore this show.
I really liked Hammer of the Gods it had the right amounts of creepy, funny and lore to make me twitch for more. I will probably watch it again tomorrow (while I wait for Doctor Who) but I am sure this has made it into my favourite episodes list. I admit that it didn’t top the AMAGADFANTASTIC Point of no return but not all episodes can be that epic. Geek TV rates Hammer of the Gods a 9 which is absolutely symbolic as I don’t do ratings. With those out of the way, it is time for picspam!!
The following picspam is rated PG15 as it contains some gorey images
Geek TV 